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An Interview With Chris
(This is made up, people) By: Lee

Reporter: I’m here with Chris Kirpatrick of *Nstynk, er, *Nsync. Now Chris, I noticed you’re wearing your marionette outfit from the No Strings Attached concert tour. Are you doing a concert?

Chris: No, I just like wearing it.

Reporter: Why is that?

Chris: It reminds me of the old days.

Reporter: The old days?

Chris: Yes (sighs). Living in a tunnel of cardboard boxes, wearing clothes like this, stealing money and lunch from kids walking to school…

Reporter: Oh my God! Chris, I had no idea you had such a poor childhood!

Chris: Yeah, well, I did. The rest of my family lived in a beautiful house with lots of food.

Reporter: Now this is getting interesting. Did you have a contagious disease? Were you in the Witness Protection Program?

Chris: No, they just didn’t like me.

Reporter: Oh. Well, why?

Chris: I dunno. Maybe ‘cuz I didn’t take showers.

Reporter: You took baths though, right?

Chris: (looks uncomfortable) Do I have to answer that?

Reporter: Um…

Chris: Well I have to go now.

Reporter: Oh, why?

Chris: I have to teach Justin how to use scissors, reassure JC that his nose looks fine, tell Joey there’s a Superman marathon coming on soon, and tell Lance 10 reasons why he makes us look bad (Chris leaves the set).

Reporter: I’m starting to think there’s no normal member of Nsync. (Shouts to the producers) Call the BSB, will ya?