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Close Encounter
By: Libbi

On the BSB tour bus…

AJ and Kevin are in the kitchen section playing cards at the table. Brian is in the front looking out the window, Nick is playing Nintendo, and Howie is looking through all his stuff…

Howie: (bursting in on Nick) Where’s my hairspray?

Nick: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I WAS ON THE 46th LEVEL!!!!!

Howie: Okay…

He walks towards Kevin and AJ.

Howie: Have you seen my hairspray?

AJ: No.

Kevin: (very slowly) You……..said……….yesterday……..that……..

Howie and AJ: Yes or no?

Kevin: No…

Howie walks to the front.

Howie: Have you…

Brian: (jumping up) Oh my God!

Howie and Brian both look out the front window and see another bus coming towards them. Another TOUR bus, and the person standing in front is none other than Lance Bass from that group nsync (shudder)…

Before anyone else knows what’s happening, the BSB’s driver is suddenly blinded by a “flash”. The bus goes careening into the left lane and Nsync’s bus is pushed off the side of the road. The BSB’s bus continues to swerve from side to side, finally going off the road and comes to a dead stop, stuck in mud…

AJ: Holy s***, what just happened?

Kevin follows him in, and after him an angry Nick Carter...

Nick: What happened? I was almost back to where I was…

As he was speaking there was a knock on the door... 

Nick: AHHHHH! It’s a troll!

Bus driver opens the door and Chris Kirpatrick enters…

Chris: Hey, did you guys get knocked off the road by some crazy bus? Oh wait, never mind IT WAS YOURS!

Kevin: Hey……whatever……happened…..was…

Howie: We did not knock you off the road!

Chris: Well let’s think, you were in our lane…

Howie: Well, okay, it wasn’t intentional…

Brian: (recovering from shock) That fruitcake of a bass in your group flashed our driver!!

Chris: Man, we’ve GOT to get him to stop doing that…

Meanwhile…  

Justin: JC, yo, wake up, yo…

JC: (yawning) What…

Justin: Yo, we crashed yo (Authors note: about the yo’s, it’s an inside joke…)

JC: Huh?

Justin: BSB knocked us off da road…

JC: BSB?

Justin: Yeea

JC: Can I go back to sleep now?

Justin: (slaps him) Yo! Da bus got knocked off da road and you don be knowin’ it but we’s be on the ceilin’ cause da bus is USPSIDE DOWN!

JC: Where are the others?

Back to the BSB…

Chris is scolding Lance as Joey apologizes.

Joey: We’re so sorry Lance caused all this…

Kevin: It’s……….

Nick: (finishing for Kevin) okay.

Kevin: That’s……..not…

AJ: It’s going to rain.

Kevin: Yeah…

They all look towards the mountains and see rain coming their way.

Chris: What should we do?

Everyone shrugs their shoulders.

JC and Justin come walking over.

JC: Hey guys, we saw a big dark creepy house over there. It’s at the end of some long dark creepy road. Maybe we can stay there while the storms passing and figure out how to get help?

Everyone looks at each other.  

All at once: Okay!

Lance giggles

Chris: Don’t do that!

Kevin: Where………are…………the…

By the time he gets that far, everybody is half way down the road.

Kevin: Damn…

2 hours later…

BOOM!

Chris: So much for staying out of the storm. Have anymore good ideas JC?

JC: It wasn’t mine, it was Justin’s!

Justin: Hey! How wuz I supposed t’know da bridge to da house wuz gone?

Kevin: Hey……..guys…

Howie: My hair!

Kevin: …I…

Nick: My Nintendo’s back there!

Kevin: …found…

Brian: Hey guys, I found an old abandoned camp site!

Kevin: yeah…

All: Where?

Brian led them to it. There are 3 small tents surrounding a couple old logs that were probably used for a campfire sometime in the past. They all pack into one tent…

Howie: OK, this storm doesn’t seem to be letting up anytime soon. It’s already dark, so we should spend the night here. I guess we’ll put 4 people in one tent, 3 in another…

Lance: Psst, Chris, can I get the pink tent?

Chris: There is no pink tent you dumbass!

Tent arrangement:

 

Brian: (pointing at Lance) Why do I have to be in the same tent as him? I’m scarred for life cuz of him!

Howie: (quickly) okay then Kevin will switch.

Kevin: I……don’t…….want…

They all go to their tents

Kevin: Damn…

Later that night,  the rain finally stops. JC, AJ, Joey, Chris, Brian, Howie, Kevin, and Nick are all sitting around a fire. Lance walks over wearing face mud. The Backstreet Boys look at him.

Lance: What?

Joey: Has anyone seen Justin?

JC: I’ll go look for him.

As he’s searching around, he hears a noise behind him. Startled, he turns around to face—

 

A monster with big cheeks and short noodly yellow colored hair!

JC: Ahhhh!

Justin: Yo, I scared you.

JC: ahhh, no, I, uh (points behind Justin) Ahhhh!

Justin turns to face Lance.

Justin: Ahhh! I mean, yo, don be doin that to me…

Back at the camp…  

AJ: I’m going to sleep…

The others are all tired too and everyone heads to their tents. When JC, Justin, and Lance return they also go to their tents.  

Later that night…

Lance wakes up because he heard a sound.

Lance: Hey, wake up.

Joey: (mumbling)

Lance: Wake up!

Joey: But I don’t want the cookies mommy…

Lance: Wha… okay…

He moves towards Chris.

Lance: Wake up

Chris: What?

Lance: Did you hear something?

Chris: yeah.

Lance: what was it?

Chris: It was a stupid fruit telling me to wake up. NOW GET BACK TO BED!

Lance immediately obeys.

Meanwhile…

Howie, Nick and Kevin are waken by the same noise…

Howie: What Kevin?

Kevin: Huh?

Howie: You said something.

Kevin: No I didn’t. You didn’t hear anything!

Nick goes outside.

Howie: Well I heard something… Hey you were talking fast!

Nick leaps back into the tent.

Nick: There’s a big scary monster out there!

Howie: Nick, we told you not to go out ‘cause then your imagination runs loose…

Nick: I have to pee!

Kevin: Now Nicky, that’s not polite. Please refer to it as The 16th Letter of the Alphabet.

Nick and Howie both stare at him.

Howie: Are you… feeling okay?

Kevin: I’m fine!

Howie: Um… So Nick, where did you see this… monster?

Nick: It was over by a tree… It had a green face and his eyes were too close together…

He pauses

Nick: Wait, nevermind, it was Lance…

Howie starts laughing.

Nick: It’s not funny! Hey wait, I thought we switched Kevin for Brian?

They both look at Kevin. All of sudden they hear 2 screams. One high and shrill… and the other is Brian!

Howie and Nick run out… Just as Brian is running in. Lance is walking over.

Lance: What? Did I miss a spot when I plucked my eyebrows?

Howie: Lance, go back to sleep.

Howie and Nick go back inside the tent.

Brian: Have you guys seen Kev? I’m gonna kill him!

Nick: What happened?

Brian: He switched me while I was sleeping!

Howie: Kev… Where DID he go?

Nick: He was just here!

In JC, Justin, and AJ’s tent…

Kevin, JC, Justin, and AJ are sitting around playing cards…

Brian storms in.

Brian: There you are! You switched tents with me!

Kevin: Huh?

Brian: Yes you did!

AJ: Brian, he’s been in here the whole time!

Brian: Then who was with Howie and Nick? They said he was there!

Kevin looks confused. Brian walks back, bewildered.

Justin: Yo, Kev, you got a Ace?

Kevin: Go……

JC: I’m out! I win, I win!

Kevin: Damn…

Back at Howie, Nick, and Brian’s tent…

Brian: Kevin has been in AJ’s tent the whole time!

Howie: Then who was who we thought was him?

Nick: Huh?

Brian: (slowly) Who was in here, who you thought was Kevin?

A chill goes through the air, and creepy music starts to play.

Nick: This is giving me a headache. Let’s just go back to sleep…

The next morning…

Chris: Hey, did you guys hear any creepy music last night?

Everyone is up and about.

Nick: I’m hungry!

Joey: Me too!

Lance: Me three!

They look at him.

Lance: What?

Joey: It’s not funny.

Lance: It’s not?

Joey: No.

Lance walks away.

Chris: (seeing Lance) What’s wrong, little buddy?

Lance: I’m not funny!

Chris: Since when were you funny?

Lance frowns and sees Justin walking out of the camp.

Lance: Justin, I’m not funny!

Justin: Yo, it’s okay bro, yo!

Lance: Where are you going?

Justin: I’m lookin’ for grub.

Lance decides to tag along. After looking around for a while, they see Brian and Howie coming over.

Brian: Hey, what are you doing?

Justin: Lookin’ for grub.

Brian: We’ll help…

After a couple of minutes, Kevin comes…

Kevin: What……are…

5 minutes later

Kevin: …doing?

Howie: We’re looking for food. Wanna help?

Kevin: Okay…

Next JC and Joey come over.

JC: Hey guys, what are you doing?

Lance: Looking for food!

JC: I’m helping!

Nick: Hey, do you think these are edible?

Joey takes one and eats it. He spits it out.

Joey: Nope.

JC: That was real smart, man…

AJ: What is everyone doing?

Lance: (skipping by with a basket) We’re looking for food!

Chris: Hey guys, let’s follow this path and see if it leads to that house we saw last night.

Lance: What path, what path? (skipping) EW! SPIDER!

Chris glares at him.

Lance: You can go first…

It’s a very narrow path so they can only walk through it single file.

Line- Chris in front, followed by Kevin, Lance, Nick, AJ, Joey, Howie, JC, Justin, and Brian.

Brian hears a noise behind him and turns around to face Kevin.

Brian: Oh no Kevin, you’re not tricking me again. I knew you were already here!

Kevin: What are you talking about? (looks up at front of the line and see’s himself) Uh oh! (runs away)

Brian: (calling after him) I was joking! Hey Justin…

Justin: (turns around) Sup, my homee?

Brian: Wait, nevermind…

Justin: It’s cause I’m BLACK, isn’t is?

Brian: umm… (walks up to JC) no… Howie!

Howie: What?

Brian: Kevin is acting all weird!

Howie: How are you talking to Kevin? He’s at the front of the line! (points)

Brian: But he just ran that-a-way!

JC: (singing) I want it that-a-way!

Howie and Brian look at him.

JC: I think I’m going to the back of the line now…

All of a sudden the 2 bus drivers come crashing through the brush. One’s wearing an Nsync shirt, the other a BSB shirt. The BSB shirt says “BSB #1”, the Nsync one says “Nsync #2”.

Chris: Troy, you should really get rid of that shirt…

AJ: Your name is Troy?

Troy: My name is Troy.

AJ: Troy?

Troy: Troy.

Brian: Your name is Troy?

Troy: My name is Troy.

Brian: Troy?

Troy: Troy.

Nick: Troy?

Troy: Troy.

Howie: Your name is Troy?

Troy: My name is Troy.

Kevin: Troy?

Troy jumps onto a rock.

Troy: MY NAME IS TROY!

Lance: Troy Rock!

Everyone stares at Lance.

Lance: Okay, sorry, I forgot I’M NOT FUNNY!

Lance, obviously scarred from Joey’s comment before, walks away.

Brian: (turning towards bus drivers) Wow, where have you guys been?

BSB bus driver: Gee, I wonder. YOU LEFT US BEHIND!

Kevin: I……was…

Howie: We did?

Kevin: …telling……..you…

Nick: We’re so sorry!

Kevin: …guys………….but…

AJ: Dude, I didn’t realize we left you behind!

Kevin: …nobody……EVER…..listens…

Nick: Did you bring my Nintendo?

Kevin: …to……Kevin…

Howie slaps Nick

Nick: What?

Howie: I think Kevin just finished a sentence!

Everyone claps. However, poor Kevin doesn’t care because nobody was paying attention.

BSB driver: Wait! Kevin’s here? We just saw him running that-a-way!

JC opens his mouth to start singing, but Justin clamps his hand over his band mate’s mouth

Brian: What do you mean?

Kevin jumps onto the rock, pushing Troy off. He finally gets everyone’s attention.

Kevin: While……I………was……..pointing……………. out…………..that……….we were……….leaving…………the………..bus……….drivers………..behind………an…. alien……….space……….ship………..abducted………….me…………..and……………cloned………me.

Snoring is heard. Justin slaps JC to wake him up.

Nick: Aliens? Where?!

AJ: Dude, all that happened and we didn’t know it? You’ve got to speak up more!

Kevin: (sighing) yeah…

Brian: So what do we do about the clone? Why did they do it?

Chris: I know why!

Everyone turns to listen.

Chris: You guys, (whispering) I’m gonna tell you my secret now… I’m an alien.

Silence.

Lance: Oh Chris, we figured that out years ago!

Nick: YOU’RE AN ALIEN?!

Howie: Calm down Nick.

Nick hides behind Kevin.

Chris: (continuing) Well, I came to earth because nobody appreciated my dreams of becoming a famous singer. So I came here, went to school yadda yadda and here I am, rich, famous, and adored by millions of girls…

Justin: I’M adored by millions of little girls.

Chris: Okay, so maybe I’m adored by one or two…

Brian: So what does that have to do with Kevin?

Chris: Well, my race became angry when they found out I left and became famous here. Now I guess they want to make you angry by copying off of you guys and um, copying…

Nick: But Lou Pearlman already did that with you guys!

Nsync look at him, annoyed.

Nick: Okay, touchy subject, nevermind…

JC: No strings attached man!

Justin: Calm down, my brother…

JC: NO STRINGS ATTACHED!

AJ: Get over it, we have to capture that clone before it clones all of us! Um, the BSB that is…

All of a sudden a war-like drum beat is heard. A few Spanish sounding chords are plucked on a guitar. A phone is heard, and voice asking “Hello?”…

Chris: WHAT’S WITH THE MUSIC?

Brian: It’s our theme song. C’mon guys, let’s go!

The BSB start running in order to find Kevin’s clone. They split up. AJ spots the clone. All of a sudden the forest becomes very quiet. All wildlife has disappeared…AJ starts to panic. “You guys? Hello?” he calls. He jumps over a fallen tree…

Brian lands on his feet. Taking a quick look around, he spots the clone. He starts running after it and is lead into… a cave. It’s dark, and he trips a few times, knocking over some rocks. He starts sprinting through a tunnel and sees a light…

Nick bursts through the other end. “Hey, what’s with the car?” he thought to himself. He feels something in his pocket. “Keys?” He hops into the car and takes off after the clone, Almost running it over, he get’s out and grabs it. The clone, however is just Howie in a mask. “Hey, I was going to trick it!” “How the heck is that supposed to trick it?” “I don’t know, it seemed like a good idea.”

Now to Kevin. He spots the clone as he’s running through the woods. It runs into the house that JC spotted the day before. He jumps through the window and lights flash on. Words like “lie” and “cheat” are spray painted all over. “Oops” he says to himself. “Wrong…window.” He jumps back out and back into the house through another window. He crashes into something- the clone!

The others run in just as Kevin and the clone realize they’re face to face.

Howie: Uh oh…

Nick: Which one’s Kevin?

  ???

The clone: I am Kevin! That’s the clone!

Brian: Grab the one that’s talking!

The boys jump on the clone. Kevin throws over some rope and they tie it up.

Clone: What are you doing? You fools!

Kevin: I…..am……..the………real………Kevin.

The clone realizes his mistake. The Boys hear a sound outside. They look out a window and see a UFO landing. Chris walks out.

Brian: Where did that come from?

Chris: It’s mine.

Brian: Oh…

Chris: I’m gonna take him back and have a little talk with my alien race…